Hello vino my old friend...

You know, today should have been a horrible day.  But it wasn't - and it wasn't for all the reasons that it should have been.

I'm writing in riddles. 

A month ago I had to give up all alcohol to start a medication for my eye.  I tried not to complain because, honestly, that's stupid.  Yes, let's whine about the fact that I can't have wine.  Because that's a REAL problem. 

My friends commiserated and tried to tell me that it was okay to be sad about it.  I appreciated their support, but I really felt like I just needed to suck it up and move on.  There were bigger concerns in the world, in my own life - heck there are bigger concerns about this MEDICATION than the fact that I had to give up alcohol. 

Today was a tough day complete with a mentally exhausting exam.  The mentally exhausting exam didn't go as well as I had hoped, partially (I felt) due to unfair questions.  So, not only was I maxed - I was mad and maxed.  Mad, maxed, and now alcohol free. 

A month ago I would have crawled home, poured myself a giant glass of wine, and sacked out on the couch.  I would have skipped my yoga class AND drank.  And probably ate a bunch of feel good foods (that don't feel so good the next day).  But today?  I came home, packed up, and went to yoga. 

And at the end of it all...I realized something...my no good day turned into a great one.  I turned all my frustration into a really great yoga practice.  My headache is GONE.  I am so ready to go to sleep - having left all my frustration in a pool of sweat next to my mat (I do HOT yoga!)  The funny part is, had I drank the wine, my no good day would have ended as a no good day.  The wine would have calmed my nerves, sure, but it wouldn't have helped me process the frustration.  The yoga, however, helped me process it and turn it into something productive. 

So then, I came home, and had my bowl of tomato soup.  With no bread.  The bread (my favorite) is sitting in the kitchen.  I had none.

I'm actually a little bit thankful for the wine moratorium. 

Time to blow the cobwebs off...

May 9, 2009.

That's the date of my last blog post.

To say "a lot has happened" might be the understatement of the century.

Let's see if I can summarize it quickly.

Quit job.  Found new job teaching college mathematics.  Loved job.  Decided to pursue teaching college full time.  Started prerequisites to get MS in mathematics.  Decided to lose weight.  Started Weight Watchers.  Started Zumba.  Lost weight, gained fitness.  Started Pilates.  Tried spin (yuck).  Went back to Pilates.  Started running.  Ran.  A lot.  Lost more weight.  Pilates instructor left, gave up Pilates, started yoga.  Fell in love with yoga.  Hit massive plateau after losing 75 pounds.  Kept running.  Started weightlifting.  Kept doing yoga.

Now we're up to 2012.

Eye started acting up.  Went to doctor.  Random eye issue.  Treated with Prednisone.  Continued to run.  Ran.  Lifted.  Ran a 10K.  On and off Prednisone, and when off, eye issue came back.  Saw a multiple specialists.  Decided specialists were full of baloney.  Drove my happy behind to Miami to see "the best" doctor.  Diagnosed with Multifocal Choroiditis.  Was told I needed to be on auto-immune therapy to save my eye.  Went to Europe, drank a lot of German beer.  Came home.  Went back to doctor, started medication. 

And that is pretty much where we sit.  The cycles of Prednisone packed about 10 pounds back on me - I am happy to be tapering down.  The stress of the year, the diagnosis, and graduate-level mathematics, have all chipped into my workout routine and eating habits.  The medication I am on has serious risks - but is generally well tolerated.  It forced me into 100% sobriety, though - no more wine for this wino.  I will be on it for 2 years and, we hope, then be in remission and lead a normal life.

However, the "we hope" part is the part that I couldn't accept without stacking the cards in my favor.

There has been an onslaught of movies that have hit regarding diet and health.  The main theme in most of these trendy films is that a plant-based diet can cure all your ills.  Especially if you have something that is auto-immune, which is where I sit.

I have a few things that could be causing this.  One, I do believe it's hormonal.  I am hoping that as I age and shift closer into menopause (I sit at 33 right now), that things will simmer down.  Two, and this plays into the hormones, I find it very interesting that this all came on at the end of a 75 pound weight loss.  So, perhaps, this is just my body adjusting.  Thirdly, my eyes took a turn in July of 2011 - when my son brought home a viral pink eye.  They were problematic since that virus, and then issues exploded 6 months later.  Perhaps the auto-immune reset will help.  Finally, I have a history of granuloma annulare, another auto-immune thing.  The good news is that this WAS hormonal, and DID go away as I drifted away from puberty.  I am hoping that this will bode well for me in the future.  (Of course, this is all speculative.  Since no one seems to know very much about the disease, though, speculative seems to be very appropriate).

Given all that, I can't help but feel that if I'm really GOOD to my body - I will be able to cure myself.  So, we are shifting into a plant-strong diet + fish including eliminating all dairy, and we're working on flour and sugar.  I figure, also, if I'm not allowed to drink...and I'm having my coffee sugar/cream free...this is the PERFECT opportunity to lose the Prednisone weight and the last 10 that I just couldn't seem to trim off. 

So, why the blog? Well.  I decided I needed a diary to record my thoughts.  I discuss them with my husband...but then they disappear into oblivion.  I also wanted a place where I admitted my failures, successes, and hopefully hold myself more accountable.  I am good 75% of the time - the last 25%?   Not so good.  Lastly, I needed a place to record my "invented" recipes and food ideas.  I was going to start a whole NEW blog.  When I came to blogger, I saw this link and thought "wait, I'll just fire this up!"  Looking at some of the deliciousness I used to post...well...this will be a different sort of blog now!  But none the less, the direction (green, healthy, planet-loving) is the same. 

So.  There is the re-introduction and manifesto.  Now, to make good on it!